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August 21, 2003

The Pudding Theory

Last night, mans cognitive understanding the world around him became just a little bit better. A team of specialists was assembled for the sole purposed of testing the theories of one A. Moody, in an effort to enrich the lives of countless other human beings. This theory is better known as the Pudding Theory.

The hypothesis of the Pudding Theory is elegantly simple. The premise states that upon eating at a chinese buffet, the first time someone receives a plate from the dessert island your check will be presented. The question left of course is, what happens if you eat out of order, starting with your dessert, eventually moving to a full meal. Does the check arrive too early, therefor laying on the table so as to influence the gluttony ("I'm going to get my $10 out of this!!"), or will it be kept quiet disrupting the normal signal used by many wait-staff to deliver a check thus forcing us to ask for it?

A insertion team of two was put into place at the Golden Fortune Chinese Buffet with the intent on discovering what just might happen. The team realized this was a hot zone of activity upon entering by the early signs: a large rush of people sitting there devouring countless plates of meat, the Iraqi 50 most wanted playing cards for sale, and the mob-scene that was the ice cream dispenser. The team was sat at the far end of the room, with a clear view of the entire dining establishment. Upon placing drink orders, the team went into action, gathering two plates and filling them with various items on the dessert isle. This task was more dangerous than initial reconnaissance had suggested. The mass of dining patrons were now entering their need for a sugar fix, leaving much of the dessert isle in ruins, and the trays empty. The fall back plan of ice cream was put into jeopardy when it was discovered the ice cream machine was no longer in service at that time, hence the mob. To sedate the mob, a series of pastries was brought out, which when covered with vanilla pudding worked wonders.

Returning to their seats the team discovered their drinks filled and awaiting consumption. Within a minute of sitting down another wait staff brought over the check, set it down, and left it for us. Working quickly, the team devoured the contents of their plates, put the plates on another table, and proceeded to fill a new plate with a more traditional style dinner item. A few minutes later the original waitress returned to check up on liquid refreshment levels, but had a confused look as to how the check was delivered to the dining patrons while they were still eating.
Some brief yelling could be heard, but the insertion team was unable to make out any of it.

In conclusion, the Pudding Theory does hold when used in a dining establishment. It also can provide a few more minutes of entertainment when needed, but execution must be done with care. The wait staff does not like to be toyed with, so use extreme caution in not getting caught.

Posted by Dan at August 21, 2003 06:13 AM

Comments

Posted by: Derick at August 23, 2003 02:31 AM